Canon! Retconning!

So I'm in the middle of a Discworld streak, and read The Truth today.

Okay. So Discworld vampires are included among the Undead.

But I still can't quite wrap my head around it.

You see, Discworld vampires are presented relatively normally -- like humans with some special conditions and an aesthetic out of a Hammer Horror movie.

So. Vampire families.

Vampires. Old. Very old. Hesitate to say immortal, 'cause that's sort of, you know, drastic. But Old, with a capital 'O.'

Still. Vampire families. The vampires are traditionally bloodsuckers, but we don't hear of vampires turning anyone. So. Assuming that we're not Shakers here. How do we create vampire families?

I'm assuming that vampires are born.

. . . .

HOW IN HELL'S NAME IS ONE BORN UNDEAD.

Just. Something that's been on my mind.

Also, will be editing Mal's Meme to End All Memes to include that you can go as far as to put a sword through his chest or cut his head off, and it still won't kill him.

Well. When I say "kill."

You know, for all of Reg's PC crap, I think vampires are the ones who actually need to be called "differently alive" rather than "undead."