Canon! Retconning!

[bad_addict]

So I'm in the middle of a Discworld streak, and read The Truth today.

Okay. So Discworld vampires are included among the Undead.

But I still can't quite wrap my head around it.

You see, Discworld vampires are presented relatively normally -- like humans with some special conditions and an aesthetic out of a Hammer Horror movie.

So. Vampire families.

Vampires. Old. Very old. Hesitate to say immortal, 'cause that's sort of, you know, drastic. But Old, with a capital 'O.'

Still. Vampire families. The vampires are traditionally bloodsuckers, but we don't hear of vampires turning anyone. So. Assuming that we're not Shakers here. How do we create vampire families?

I'm assuming that vampires are born.

. . . .

HOW IN HELL'S NAME IS ONE BORN UNDEAD.

Just. Something that's been on my mind.

Also, will be editing Mal's Meme to End All Memes to include that you can go as far as to put a sword through his chest or cut his head off, and it still won't kill him.

Well. When I say "kill."

You know, for all of Reg's PC crap, I think vampires are the ones who actually need to be called "differently alive" rather than "undead."

Comments

[and-thats-it.livejournal.com]

Remember what's it called, with the witches, oh! Carpe Jugulum. Definitely implied that the two vampire children were born. And they were teenagers for a long time. Perhaps vampires just have a veeeeeeery slow lifespan?

[boy-and-crow.livejournal.com]

If you want to have a lot of fun, look at all the vampires all the Discworld books ever mention. Apparently you can become a vampire the traditional, bitey way, be born to it, inherit it, inherit it by marriage... What, just look at the two vampires in Reaper Man. Arthur and Doreen Winking, I think. XD DISCWORLD IS NOT LOGICAL STOP TRYING TO MAKE IT SO :P

[evilstorm.livejournal.com]

Doreen Winking's not actually a vampire, I thought? I thought she just...acted like one. She shows up in Thud! again and Vimes goes rraaagh internally at her because she acts like a vampire but isn't one.